ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
