There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
