and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
