Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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