I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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