I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
