you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
