I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
