mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
