Please, let me fuck your mom
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize