she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
