Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize