i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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