I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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