I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
