Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
