You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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