So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He did a backflip because drugs
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