omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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