I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
whose parrot is this?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
