You're my little dorito
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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