My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
