do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
