he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize