I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize