If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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