I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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