If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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