You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
