Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
