i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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