Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
