I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he was CRYING into my vagina
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
