Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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