We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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