I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
