sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
