i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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