Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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