wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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