dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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