The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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