OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
