I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
