NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
