where does the pee come out of this thing
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
