It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
