ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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