He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize