whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
