I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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