She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
