Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
