My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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