We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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