I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize