I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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