so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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