Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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