His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
