Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
