Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
