i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
