a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
