My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
