its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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