dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
