Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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