i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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