you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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