Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And then my night got REAL pukey
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
