if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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