So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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