Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
